Pune the way it is

When you shift your base from one city to another, the inherent tendency that comes out stronger first in most average human being [Like I am] is comparing between the past and present. After my long stay at Kolkata, as I had no other option, I had to move my ass to Pune, in search of some bucks. Frankly speaking when I got the offer letter from my college, neither I was too much excited of my migration, nor was I repenting like an average Bengali, because I had to leave my hometown.

Coming to Pune, the first thing that hit me is how it rains here. It has a very slow, sluggish pace, and it’s hardly cats and dogs here. The one adjective that you can never put ahead of a Pune rain is torrential. The color of sky, when it’s gloomy here, is extremely toxic. As if it has a platonic relationship with “Old Monk”; and the cheap, hard hitting, Rustic rum is only made to sleep with Pune when it rains here, asking you to “Gheun taak” three pegs and memorize those cunning lines of Emran Hashmi in Gangster; ”Barsaat ki Mahine mein Naag Naagin ke bina Nahi reh sakta…” . I am glad to have a room mate like Guha [Subhadip], who had the capacity to grab the shuttle change of nature and respond to it; and I always obliged. Load shedding is the best scenario, and even it was not there, we used to put off lights, dragged the bed near the large window, and sat with glass of Old Monk in our hands. Guha used to play best of his Rabindra sangeet’s collection one after one, and Pune’s rain just absorbed them in its every drop of water. As each rain drop trickled on the greenery, in shame of molestation the new grown leaves got greener, our conversation rocketed to childhood days. Frantic “KalBoishakhi”, like a “Cradle of filth” song, was already embedded in our memory; through Pune’s rain we knew what a “John Denver” number is. Truly, the creator of Byomkesh Bakshi had to live here. Truly, Pune deserves to be the backdrop of Anurag kashyap’s first movie “paanch”. Truly, the greater Maharashtra holds her head high in every scene of Vishal Bhardwaj’s “Kaminey”

In Most cases Bengali’s do have a tendency, to go in to deep of things; dig up angles even if it does not exist. What should be named as the derivative of “Rock-Thek-adda” of Kolkata, in most cases by mistake called as product of “Culture”. Dragging of the ear as pride in Culture, finds its head in Education and after coming to Pune, a Kolkatan quite astonishingly sees that there’s more college in a street of Pune, than it is there in whole Kolkata!!

More Colleges; more Students; more Outsiders and of course more outsider girls. Pune Girls are basically a perfect balance between a usual Delhi girl, who could really take a dig at you masculine confidence on going fetish in lingo you speak and a Mumbai girl, who has got the most perfect dressing sense. Girls here are deceptive. I guess, the fast dying species called typical “Marathi Mulgi” is still living its last breath in Pune. Don’t go by their simple salwars and an average priced bag hung up on the bag. Your usual cajoling “hi hallo” can take an all time down, if they start to shoot. Girls do fast here religiously, and I think it’s a conscious divine effort to touch Kareena Kapoor. I am saying this because; couple of thin Rotis and proportionate sabji and a glass of juice would be more than enough in lunch for them. Most of the girls don’t bother touching their money bags for food in weekends, because boys religiously take onus to do so.

Yes, probably in Pune the Girl-Boy ratio is the best. Almost every boy has one girl, and I have not heard or seen any clashes between two guys for a girl here. Even it is there, it is no where near compared to Kolkata. I stayed a long time near a Girl’s college in pune and the place is called Karve Nagar, named after the famous woman educationist of India, Maharshi Karve. I named it as “Curve-e-Nagar”. The place is full of girls’ hostels, and boy-girl ratio of that zone is astonishingly low on boys favor. On weekends you just got to be near the “Chauk” of that place, Its literally a “Penalty Corner” zone, where a string of hunks are waiting with Bikes to woo or get hold of girl and from three different roads torrent of girls in all shapes and sizes, wearing as less as they can afford, are flooding in, only to follow the last root to shoot off for a night out with a guy.

By the way, Bike is the most important pre-requisite to woo a girl here. It’s easier to hit a six than a boundary in Chinnaswami stadium in Bangalore and similarly it’s easier to get a girl in pune with Bike than with a car. A four wheeler man might be devoid of a girl friend here, but an enthusiastic bike man will never be.

0.3% of India’s GDP is contributed by the scarf of the girls in Pune. Yes it’s the second best industry after IT in Pune. Girls put on scarf’s of seven different colors on different days of a week ranging from baby pink to shocking blue, and you can never get hold of the fact that, is this the girl whom I had seen with this boy yesterday and now I am seeing some one different riding the bike today. Probably I could If was an Afghani.

Ok, to close the girl’s chapter, one last gyan. That is: For each city girl, the meaning of the phrase “fun” is different. “Do you wanna have fun” could mean nice couples pass in INOX for a Kolkata girl; same could be an brave Idli Dosa lunch on “Banana leaves” in Chennai. Be very careful, before you say the same here in Pune. If the listener obliges, “Beta teri toh Raat ban gayi”, but if she does not, get ready to touch you chick.

You just got to booze in Pune. Pune is made for Boozing and Boozing whole night. For proof, here, van of spared Bottle buyers carry more beer bottles than of any other type. Discover each and every Bar, make Bhai Bhai relationship with every waiter out there, or even you can go alone and get in to a nice conversation and exchange contacts with loner like you sitting on the opposite chair. The ideal situation could be to get on to the roof of an 8-9 storied flat at night, Booze whole night and see the beauty of this City as the gentle cool breeze caresses through the city at night and titillates the “Nasha”. You don’t need to be a Devdas to booze in Pune, though you have every chance of getting converted to a prototype, if you are the statue of fidelity here. And Guess what, people launch firecrackers here at night without any reason!! It adds to your entertainment without any VAT; you can enjoy your booze like a King.

Autowalas in Pune knows how to make fun. I doubt whether they got pissed off in Chambal and came all the way to Pune and but could not get rid of the inherent dacoit attribute. They simply negate all basic knowledge of mathematics and ready to challenge you on any multiplication even if you carry more than 80% is 10+2 math’s. But one thing I have seen common between the Taxi drivers near DumDum airport in Kolkata and Auto drivers here. Taxi drivers near airport in Kolkata will simply bash Subhash Chakraborty for introducing Special Buses, as it affects their business, same goes for auto drivers also here as they can’t withstand Girls roaming around Bikes after falling into a relationship and completely forgetting them. By any chance if you see a Girl getting into an argie bargie with an autowala here, you will find that the girl has to pay every word of her. Autowala’s have both sides to them. They are as abusive as one can get in anger and as polite and friendly when you are eager to communicate with them. Once an auto driver said he has an Orkut account with a DP of him standing beside his auto. H also said and all of his girls and boys are working in IT only,
If girls are scratched out straight from the pages of “Vogue” here, then Autowalas must be from PC games. They take pride in over taking Cars on over bridges and breaking dividers and lanes, whenever they get a chance to do so. Being an autowala here, If you don’t over take any vehicle after 3 minutes of kicking off, you are a Dud, and you should be thrown out of Pune autowala union.

If one thing I do hate about Maharashtra, is it Bus service. It sucks big time. PMT Buses are “Baaper sompotti” [Father’s treasure] for them in raw Bengali. I don’t know what would happen to these Bus conductors in Pune, if they are shifted to Kolkata. They won’t last for more than one week I guess. The behavior is extremely rude and in most cases they just hate to speak in any other language other than Marathi. I just cant take the fact in Mani Ratnam’s “Sathiya” that Vivek Oberoi and Rani Mukherjee rides a PMT bus after getting married in the movie, last thing I would do in my life after marriage.

Even if Pune had thousands of more attributes like this which could have oozed hatred, I won’t bother, because of my darling. That’s Pune’s weather. Uff, Pune’s weather is Madhubala's eyes, Kylie minogue’s buttocks, Rekha’s hair, Madhuri Dixit’s smile, Merlyn Monroe’s boobs, Angelina jolie’s lips and Sharon stone’s legs and Maria Sharapova’s moaning. You just can’t ignore and stay stubborn not to fall in love with it. Love of weather, brings love in the air. Loves in the air, brings hang outs where you can have fun. Pune has plenty to it.

No, Pune’s love is not like those marathon walks of Kolkata, where couples walk for ages holding each others hands as if they are participating in a procession only to end up underneath the streetlight pole whose blub is broken and end up in strictly followed romance or quarrels like “ami ekhon biye korte parchina” or “tumi ekta kichu koro, na holey amake chharo”. Here its rash driving, Girls bighting the ear out of BF, if not in scarf’s, or stretching the hands on loin of BF, which could be ended as “I love you too” on next day’s early morning near the gate of girls place. Here hardly any one bothers a break up, have fun as long as you are buying from my store. That’s it !!

I still remember my first day in this city, when standing on Deccan Bridge, I said in front my three room mates in the midst of dipping twilight that I would go back to Kolkata after 3 months. The reply that I got from Rakesh on that day still pokes me. He said you can’t; Pune will get in to you. Pune has got into every nerve of mine and under my skin. Probably I have experienced the most colorful and ever changing phase of my life, where I have seen tremendous up and downs in every aspect of life. I have understood where I stand nationally, or later internationally. I have experienced new attributes of mine, broken new windows which perhaps I could never do in Kolkata. One thing I can proudly say, that Pune was there beside me in every situation, which Kolkata could never pull off, in fact it bullied.