ZNMD : a poetical road trip

1. Like all other countries Indian families too are economically divided in to three bands - rich, poor and middle class. But what differentiates India from most other countries in this aspect is that poor and middle class families though convinced about their financial state and limits, will always have an urge to scratch the rich and their aristocracy or dream of being so. Zoya Akhtar after her magnificent debut in Luck By chance, where she told a subtle story of a middle class guy breaking through as a face of bollywood, comes up with zindegi na milegi dobara [ZNMD] as her second venture, that cashes on that dream of poor and middle class indian.

2. Like all other Road movies, ZNMD too uses Road the word as a metaphor. Road of life as they say, and how a single trip abroad changes every thing as life meets fear of death, the flaws of past and the compromises the life has made.

3. Tell me how many Indian families could choose three tier sandwiches in engagement party, afford pre marriage bachelor party in Spain and toast from the husband? I guess most cant. Still life of ZNMD will not be too alien to you even you are not coming from a rich family. Its all feel good factor of ZNMD's life style that keeps you going and the screen will be screaming its lungs out "Guys, have fun in you life, its only one you get". Who does not want a life of that scale and economy? But the thing that bothers you in ZNMD, is the language these extremely rich characters speak. Its like talking in English and sounding like Hindi. Arjun [Hrittik] a Broker, who deals with crores day in day out, says 'Bara Hazar euro' instead of saying 'Tweleve Grands'. The worst comes from Laila, character played by Katrina, "Its like Holi, par waha Tomatoes ke sath khelte hai". I mean why not make a movie like 'Delhi belly' or 'Dhobi Ghat' so that life style of the character could complement the lingo he/she is speaking; why this 'Let loose' kind of attitude for the one screen theaters.

4. ZNMD is actually a collage of many beautiful moments rather then a full fledged movie. What I want to say is that, five years down the line when you would again talk about ZNMD, you would not be saying about the movie as a whole, which you could associate with a 'Dil Chahta hai'; rather you would be memorizing these little moments in bits and pieces like the 'maantally the sick' scene, 'The doordarshan logo montage music' spoof, Kabir's [Abhay] Paitra to pretend as if he knows some secret of the friend and the later spills all by himself, or that word association game. Screaming at people to scare the hell out of them is kind of odd when you consider Farhan, Hrittik and Abhay's personal age, but then thats star cast for you !
One little moment I would like to mention here, which may not be topping charts of most. The scene of galloping Horses.

5. Talking about DCH, ZNMD is quite similar to the former's structure. Two friends with an issue [Akshay - Aamir, Hrittik - Farhan] , a pacemaker [Saif , Abhay] and a disturbing character [Ayub Khan , Kalki]

6. When Kalki comes to spain thinking her hubby Abhay is fooling around her, she welcomes Farhan first in the hotel but later tells Abhay that she does want others to be thinking that she is a Chudail [ Though she wanted to say Bitch, but as you know Zoya wants her to speak certain words in Hindi]. Thats a good insight of a particular woman nature who smiles at the world, but keeps lack of trust for the boy friend. But where goes the detailing between Hrittik and Farhan's relationship. How could Hrittik agree to spend a vacation with this 'good friend' of him who once had stolen his girl friend? There had to a story to be told, which should have eased off the bitterness. But Zoya tossed it off.

7. In spite of all these, I quite liked the Farhan Hrittik Track. In the earlier part of the movie we are pushed to believe that Its Farhan who holds the upper hand between the two. But as the movie grows old we come to know that Its two palms that make a clap. It was Poor of Hrittik to reply Farhan's abbu's death via a mere mail and even his ever expanding pride over his ransome income, but when the girl friend thing comes, you know why Hrittik was looking at Farhan with merciful eyes.

8. Hrittik's second girl friend track did baffle me. Well Hrittik says to Farhan that Farhan should be saying sorry to him untill sonali does not go from his heart. If sonali is that special for him, then why is this second girl friend coming to picture?

9. Saare Jahan se achha Rock instrumental just reminded me of a 'Top Gun' scene.

10. Hrittik has been shown as a meticulous packer [ He even rolls his ties into a tight bundle], whereas Farhan's packing is just the opposite. At the very beginning Zoya gives a good picture of who abides by the rules and who sticks his middle finger out.

11. Again the best scene is a tough tussle between Farhan and Hrittik. I would go for Farhan's emotional meet up with his Wanna be famous painter father Salman Habib played by Naseeruddin Shah. We know a thing or two about Farhan's sense of humor, and that 'bagwati' piece was so hilarious to watch, but hardly did we know how he could handle a scene of such emotional scale so beautifully. "Sorry Kahiye toh dil se Kehna" and that departure and then the way he says sorry "really from the heart" to Hrittik, speaks a volume of Farhan's acting skills and Zoya's superb capability of handling a melodrama.

12. Hrittik does not go too far when he comes up on the boat after scuba diving challenge and breaks into tears backed up by an awesome poetry recited by Farhan and written by Javed Akhtar. Its that Kind of feeling when a Man meets up his biggest fear of life and comes up head held high. Success of livelihood in the scarcity of life does bring tears to the eyes.

13. After Hrittik beating water and Farhan beating the air, you guess ah! its time for Abhay to beat Fire. It would not only be fire but also his impending fear of marriage where he would circumnavigate the flames. It does not go that far by the way. There was bit of bull in the end.

14. The real star of the movie is Javed Akhtar - the genius. Sir wherever you are take a salute from this naachiz. Poetry or Dash of 'Dil nichodna' sir !!

All in all ZNMD is like an absolutely adorable first look and first love kind of T shirt, that comes with dry clean alarms too. After the first watch of ZNMD its so easy to be on high, but as the time goes you will feel a chunk of that magic is missing.

Delhi Belly - Dotted as anything

1. It’s an evolution in bollywood that has constantly been building up movie after movie. The evolution is about “rejecting the dialogues” and catching up the lines that we speak in real life, But do we speak what Delhi Belly guys do ??. Does anyone disagree? Delhi belly uses expletives in canter, such is the abundance that every second sentence deals with an F word, and even F words are used in different tones, conjugated with different other abusive words to show different emotions. You see, “a fucking chut” is a way of calling a room mate, “fucking rent” is way of expressing rage, “a naked woman lying on a naked man, is called fucking” is a way of taking potshots at friend’s silly queries.

2. There’s this “Hindi going of the boil” and “English coming to fore”, and then its “Hindi back into the thick of things”, brings me to another evolution in current bollywood, which you could label as a brand new garment of new Amir Khan Production mill. Since “Dhobi Ghat” we could see how these two languages are used as if someone is taking trial of Kurta and T-shirts and not at all happy in either way. You see, three roommates talking in English to each other as they come from different parts of India, their Times of India Pal Maneka speaks in English generally but in Hindi with the Hotel maid, the local goons in all mixed up mode, the down-the-ladder-in society Jain family prefers in Hindi, but inspires their child to speak English, though has enough knowledge to pick the fault in a construction of an English sentence, and shows an article is missing.

3. As the title of the movie and the popular tag “s#!t happens” suggest, the movie has a lot of shit and toilet comedy. The obsession to the private areas of the body is so strong that it comes too frequently. Unhygienic Tandoori chicken seller scratches his private, the person who buys it develops a loose motion and washes his ass with Orange juice, the land lord reads blackmail letter sitting on commode, gangster is threatened with a fire cracker in his butt, the police is shot in his butt. Then there are lot of fluids going around- Loose motion, Orange juice, Crows shit, Green chutney. And lot of sounds to back it off – Bullets, Farts, cracked up roofs, and the foot tapping Bharat Natyam [Oops Katthak]. Even the Sky does not let the chance to go off the hands. He pees on Aroop [Vir das] on his break up. Another frequent framing I forgot to mention. The tangled up electric wires over the poles.

4. The sound guys who devised the variety of fart noises – a Bow down from me with no wrong intentions.

5. Speaking of the shit, just go back few years and remember the great “Pushpak” again. Forget slangs, keep in the mind they did not even need any dialogues, to keep it edged in your memory till date and still so much happened over a packed shit.

6. It’s all what you see, is what you get kind of movie. The knocking down of rear view mirror of the car has got nothing to do “no looking back”. Or you could say, if you do think so.

7. The crossing of the t’s and the dotting of the i’s, is so prominent in Delhi belly. Every little detailing of the previous cut is kept in mind. See Maneka says she is lesbian, so she smooches when the partner is in Burqas, the land lord gets the roll of the films, because we were shown that the photographer prefers films over digital. The banana that irks Vir Das so much is actually split over by Shehnaz over the plate. Then Imran getting the idea of Burqas, from a sting of a Burqa clad women passing them.

8. It’s tough to pick a wrong foot in between a laugh riot. Parents meeting girlfriends parents and Vir das boss asking the Banana to be seven percent sad are few scenes that don’t go well. But then there are dialogues which bring you back to what Delhi belly is. “When a donkey f**ks a Rickshaw you get a santro Xing “[SRK not happy?? Oh he is into i10 these days], “Did they shave your head before hangings” are some of that collection. [Nitin Recollecting the “Mill on the floss” reference in the Car, to refer a tonsured head makes it all the more funnier]

9. Vijay Raaz- a Genius. Remember the scene, where he sees shit instead of diamond over his well placed, clean red piece. No angst, No outburst of rage, No Disgust- just a face of a philosopher. He is so experienced in this goon business that nothing bothers him, totally unfazed even in the shittiest situation. Imran is a disaster. Maneka speaks your heart out, when she asks Tashi, “You should loosen up”. The role of Kunaal is the best of lot, just the way he shows how much he gets annoyed when the stomach aches again.

10. Can some one give me one “cha se Chinese noodle” T shirt? Or did they console "chutiya" ?

11. It’s a first try of a bold Adam Sandler-ish comedy in bollywood. But is this what Youth is today in India? The point I want to make is that this brand will take you to no where, which a “Wake up Sid” or “Dil Chahta hai” or “Yuva” could do.